On Canada Day weekend, operatives entered city hall and planted a hidden camera in the mayor’s office, collecting hours of video footage. The following conversation between Mayor Gregor Robertson and Mike Magee, Robertson’s chief of staff, took place Monday morning, July 25.
Robertson stands before a full-length mirror wearing silver bike shorts, a plunging purple V-neck shirt and a white feather boa. Magee, bald and goateed, wearing a grey suit and black tie, sits at Robertson’s large oak desk typing on a laptop.
“Mike, I think I like the green boa better.”
“Just a second. I’m MSNing with Doug Keefe. L-o-l. T-t-y-l.”
Magee closes the laptop and turns towards Robertson.
“So what’s the problem? Struggling with your dance moves?”
Robertson stares into the mirror, attempts a pirouette and stumbles forward.
“You’re getting better. Remember, the Pride Parade is one of the biggest political events of the year. We can’t win reelection in November without the gay vote. You need to look good on the float this Sunday—professional, like you know what you’re doing.”
Robertson’s desk intercom beeps and crackles. A nasal-voiced receptionist speaks.
“Morning, G-man. Ken Coolen on line two.”
Magee slaps the desk.
“Speak of the devil! Now remember, Coolen’s president of the Pride Society, a very important institution. He’s a vote-getter, like the pope. We want to be very good friends.
Robertson throws the feather boa over his shoulder and replaces Magee in the mayor’s chair.
“Hello Ken, Gregor Robertson, here. Happy Pride week.”
Silence. Magee taps the intercom, points at Robertson and falls backward onto a bright yellow beanbag chair.
“Hello Ken, Gregor Robertson, here. Happy Pride week.”
“Hello, Mr. Mayor. Happy Pride.”
“How’s things at the Pride Society? You guys have everything you need?”
“Great, we expect record revenues this year. Our gold sponsorship package sells for $40,000. We’ve got TD on board, so the money’s rolling in.”
Magee scribbles on a notepad. Holds it up for Robertson to see.
Robertson squints at the notepad.
“Wonderful, Ken. Vision Vancouver has always been a big supporter of the gay and transformer community.”
Magee quickly scribbles again on the notepad. Holds it up.
“I mean, the gay and transgender community. Anyway, what can I do for you, Ken?”
“Well, I just want to touch base with you guys. I know you’re probably a little skittish about large crowds right now, but you have nothing to worry about. The Pride Parade is a peaceful celebration.”
“We know that, Ken. And while I haven’t talked to the police chief about how many officers he plans to deploy, I’m sure he knows that, too.”
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing. The Pride Society estimates parade attendance figures. In 2009, we said 530,000. Last year we said 650,000. This year, we promised our sponsors 700,000. So… you good with that?”
Magee nods. Robertson eyes Magee, nods slowly.
“Ken, make it 700,000 and one. Listen, I have to run but I’ll see you Sunday. And in the fall, during the campaign.”
Magee approaches Robertson’s desk. Taps the intercom, ending the call.
“Seven hundred thousand! Hah!”
“Sorry, Mike?”
“C’mon, we’ve never had anything close to 700,000 people downtown—not even for the Olympics. We had 100,000 for Game 7, maybe.”
“You think Pride’s pumping up the parade numbers?”
“Listen, the most they’ll ever get for the parade is 90,000—and that’s if the sun shines. But 700,000? That’s more than the population of Vancouver. The city would grind to a halt. We’d have dead bodies on the SkyTrain.”
Robertson’s intercom beeps and crackles.
“G-man, I’ve got Terry Hui on line three.”
Magee slaps Robertson on the back.
“I’ll take this. You get back to work. Only six days ’til Sunday.”
Robertson walks back to the mirror, starts doing side bends.
Magee taps the intercom.
“Mayor’s office, Mike Magee speaking.”
thanks for this great hidden camera.! it helped me for a looked organized!
Posted by: Spy hidden camera | November 02, 2011 at 02:16 AM
I read this column after I read the Mayor's diatribe on the letters page. Either the content of your quite humerous article sailed completely over Gregor's head, or he thinks that the gay vote is so important that he will sacrifice any semblance of rationality in order to get it. Judging from the accompanying letter from Rory Richards, pandering to the gay community does gain some adherents.
Posted by: Robert Angus | August 12, 2011 at 06:12 PM